peek good bye

15th November 07
and so that night,
we went to town.
with the best people u can get in NIE-Bee, Mel, Airi & Aisha Cina (fid didn come along)
watched Bratz..
that was so bratitude-
in a sense i gave a 2 out of 10.
but considerin its a G movie,
i give it a pass.
(but BEE was sooo much better!)


sori Bratz,
but had to bitch abt this.
wen sasha had to do a somersault,
u actuali had a substitute.
But since sasha is black and u had a white to do it,
u didnt even bothered making some camera adjustments in terms of view,
so yeah..it was so that obvious.
BLEAHZ.


not done talking about the dreary songs.
was reali disappointed with the finale song
which was supposed to be the ooomph!
omg.


but i had to give a thumb up for the values on friendship
brought across by tt movie.

cause im so in love with ma frens who stood by me in times like this.

cause u know,
wen we were on the overhead bridge to far east,
guess who we bumped into?

yes,
HAIRUL!
but he was so cheap.
not to look at me.
i didnt notice him at first.
til bee and airi told me.
PLUS.
his frens were like googling at my girls.
i cant stop to admit.
that i have hot dudettes around me.

PS: i dont have any girlfrens living in tamp. so dont bother sayin u are related to me.
cause, let me reiterate this again,
i have ONLY HOT dudettes as ma fren-includin remy and airi!

i am so prepared to fail ma exams.
been studying.
but
theres lot more to study.
fuc*.

Labels: exams

dear you.

is there any way to die faster without any self inflicted injury?
cause you will hate me real bad if i do so.
do you hear my prayers when i was a litte child.
will you still grant me my second wish?
do you think that i can alter my second wish?
i just want to meet you faster so that i can be in your hands.

you have granted my wish to be reunited with my mom.
i am so happy.
it will be sad to leave her behind.
it will be sad-der to even see her leave me behind.

is it possible for me to give up everything in life and just be a flop?
but i do not want to disappoint my mom.
i love her very much.

the same amount of love i felt for her,
when i was restrained and locked in the room,
and i had to pass her the mother day's card,
i put so much effort to do,
by sliding it through the narrow gap between the door and floor.

i am an angry person.
you dont come knocking to my door asking for it.
cause i will dare to knock your teeth out,
right before you can even blink.

Hairul has collected all the turmoil
that is burning in me.
and im afraid i cant hold it back in.
its making my head spins.
He has succeeded in coming up with a bibliogaphy about myself,
devising a looooong list of negative adjectives .

he has been repeating all my sins,
that i am conditioned to be just as that,
for nearly every second of my life.


i do not want to be that person anymore,
but Hairul said i cannot change.
he is successful in psychoing me,
that i so hate myself so much.
p/s: i hate him even more

dont believe him
if he say he's attached to me
cause im not.
dont believe him
if he say that
he's been good to me,
cause he has not.

from God i departed,
to Him i shall return.
soon.
very soon.


God,

can i stay with my mum again in heaven?
can i tell her how much a wonderful mum he has been again?
can i bring my diary too?


i deserve to be happy.
with you.

how ironic it is.

to re-read what i recently posted,

but im not feeling all that anymore.

In fact.

i feel so much worse.

its over.

done.

ive torn the pages of my diary regarding the withering relationship.

it marks the end of that chapter.

nothing can be written further,

re-written,

or re-edit.

as im feeling so exhausted, sick and extremely depressing,

he's out there,

in his friends' conpany,

enjoying his life,

like as if i didn exist.

why shud i be even writing this down?

he's been treating me like this for so ever long.

i HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if theres a knife, i rather stab him than a murderer who killed an innocent child.

okay.

maybe not.

but hell, i till hate him and his lies,

AND

his fucking cock!